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Who Is Behind This Madness?
The "Leadership"

The Chief

Jonathan "Bossman" Hunsaker

CEO & head honcho, Jonathan Hunsaker is the perfect blend of Steve Jobs, Hasselhoff, and Evel Knievel's half sister.

If this Titanic takes a hard right towards icebergville, you know exactly who to blame. 

The Creative 

Brett MF Fairall

"Locked" in his mom's basement and fueled by beef sticks and greens, Brett is the Morning Man content and marketing mule (yes, very soft hands).

If he doesn't make quota, Frank takes away his beef sticks.

The Muscle

Frank "The Legend" Shamrock

Chiseled from granite & born for greatness, this MMA legend is here to shape sissies into brutes one bag at a time. 

Also, Frank processes all refunds & returns. So have fun cancelling, broham.

The Team

Queen Bee

Tracy "24/7" Magee-Graham

Remember this face. Team leader & queen bee, 24/7 Tracy Magee-Graham keeps the Morning Man engine room blazing HOTT.

No matter if Jonathan sinks this bitch, she'll be shoveling coal till the bitter end.

Mr. Data

Ruthless John Petersen

A child prodigy of TI-89 calculators and Microsoft Excel, Ruthless JP is the spreadsheet Bruce Lee of our generation.

He prefers his menthols by the carton and human interaction at a minimum.

The Phisherman

Chase PONY PLAY Weir

Cover your webcam & child-lock this site as Chase Pony Play Weir is lurking in the background watching your every move.

This fisherman turned web troll is on the hunt for a worthy pony play larping adversary. You in? 

"Accounting"

Corina "Money Bags" Thorne

The Morning Man money manager and gatekeeper of all finances, Corina "Money Bags" Thorne takes vacations on the Morning Man credit card at will.

We do what she says since she won't sign our checks otherwise. 

The Predator

Brittani "Swipe Left" Mitchell

Ruling our social channels with an iron fist, Brittani is here to break hearts & crush dreams of lesser men across the globe.

No matter what name she gives you, be ready. She's out for tears of "can't hack it" pansies. 

The Sleeper

Unassuming Tarah Black

Don't let the Pleasantville soccer mom look fool ya, Unassuming Tarah Black is here to crack the email deadline whip with a fury.

She wields public humiliation like Brett eats beef sticks. We all fear her.

The Mission
Remember the day when couples went to theaters dressed to the nines in 3-piece suits and gowns? Or even when the door-to-door salesman was welcomed in your home with coffee and brandy? Probably not, right?

Well, times have changed, and not all for the better.

Men, we're on a mission to reclaim your greatness so you can conquer your day with confidence, control, and honor. We are pulling out all the stops to meticulously forge the greatest, most natural products on the planet to help everyday men (just like you) feel more manly and more like themselves than ever before. 

Don't let our humor fool you, we're here to breed greatness for today's man while anchoring to the principles of yesterday to bring it all home. 

Get ready brother, cause it's about to get real. 
FAQs
(Plus... Answers To Your Wife's Questions)

WIFE: So what are Morning Man Greens anyway?

YOU: If you think this is just another greens powder... Guess again.

Imagine if Burt Reynolds, Ron Swanson, Macho Man Randy Savage, and the cast of Deadliest catch made a melting pot of greatness to help YOU crush your day like the savage brute you were designed to be.

Morning Man Greens is that melting pot of greatness.

MORNING MAN: Why YOU need this. 

As a NATTY Ice and Boons Farm connoisseur, we know you are a man of good taste. However, sometimes that same taste does not extend to vegetables or vitamins (two things your wife reminds you about regularly).  

So why go out of your way at dinner to shovel that nonsense down your throat when you can get 100% of your daily dose of vegetables PLUS a natural caffeine kick (no crash later) with just a single scoop of Morning Man Greens to start your day...?

Seems like a no-brainer to us. 

WIFE: How much is it? OVER $50!? For a bag of greens?

YOU: "If I'm going to do something, I better effin' do it right. There are cheaper greens powders out there but only Morning Man Greens will help me live my life like the brutish bastard I was built to be." 

(Plus, if your wife presses you about the cost, just remind her about all the money you don't spend on your health... and how it's about time you gave more than one sh&% about your cholesterol, constant diarrhea, or whatever "health issue" she keeps telling you about...

...Oh, and if that doesn't work, remind her how much fancy a$$ coffee costs. Cutting out even one of those sugary caramel macchiato nonsense drinks a week would make Morning Man Greens worth more than the investment. Plus those cups of sugary liquid nonsense do nothing for your greatness.)

WIFE: Will you really get up and make this in the morning? 

YOU: "Yes. Next question."

MM: Let's talk ingredients. What's in the bag!?!

Our proprietary Superfood blend of "caffeine injected greens" contains powerful natural probiotics, herbs, and extracts. It's non-GMO without any fillers, artificial sweeteners, additives, artificial flavors, preservatives, colors, yeast, soy, added sodium, or starch.

...So don't let the fancy marketing fool ya, this product is truly good for you! Prepare yourself, the 43 raw superfood ingredients below will rock your world.  

Here's the full ingredient list to prove it:

Proprietary Raw Superfood Blend
Spirulina
Organic Alfalfa powder
Organic Barley Leaf Powder
Organic Wheat Grass Juice powder
Green Tea extract
Green Coffee Bean Extract 
Organic Chlorella Powder
Inulin
Acerola Fruit Juice Powder extract
Apple Powder
Broccoli Flower Powder
Mango Fruit Powder
Pineapple Fruit Concentrate
Bilberry Fruit extract
Beet Root Powder 
Carrot Root Powder 
Spinach Leaf Powder
Cocoa Bean polyphenol extract 
Grape Seed Extract
Licorice root powder
Lycium berry fruit extract
Ginger rhizome powder
Slippery Elm bark powder
Kelp whole plant powder
Blueberry Juice Powder

Herbs, Extracts, and Mushroom Complex
Pea Protein Isolate
Citrus bioflavonoids extract
Artichoke leaf extract
Citric acid
Rhodiola root dry extract
Eleuthero root extract
Rosemary leaf extract
Milk thistle seed extract
Ashwagandha root extract
Holy Basil Leaf Extract
Hawthorn berry extract
Reishi mushroom powder 
Shiitake mushroom powder
Monk Fruit Extract

Digestive Enzyme, Prebiotic & Probiotic Blend
Psyllium husk powder
Bromelain
Burdock root powder
Lactobacillus plantarum

MM: Proof is in the pudding. Show me the label...

Time to look under the hood. Here's a glimpse at the back of the bag. Please keep in mind, as we are very early in our production, the design and some details may change slightly. But this is the most up to date version...

WIFE: 30 Manly Servings. How long will this bag actually last?

YOU: "It's not about size, it's what you do with it."

(With one scoop in the morning, each bag will provide you a full month's worth of elevated manliness. But if you feel like doubling your greatness, we recommend manning up in the morning and early afternoon. 

Just a reminder, each scoop contains 95 mg of caffeine so drinking this late in the evening would likely keep you up at night. Each scoop equals out to about one cup of coffee. So use accordingly, sir.)

WIFE: How long will it take to ship? It better not be like 25 days or something stupid, right? 

YOU: If you're feeling real ballsy, then reply — "Are we really going to talk about how long it takes to get ready?"

OR...

YOU (if you don't want to sleep on the couch): "Nope, 3-7 Business Days."

(Although only real men understand that "good things come to those who wait," we hate shipping delays as much as you do. So good news for you... We manufacture and ship Morning Man Greens in the U.S.. So depending on where you live, our average processing and shipping times are 3-7 business days. 

At this time we are only shipping to brutes in the U.S., however, we will be expanding our efforts soon and will go international in no time!)

WIFE: I bet this product tastes like shit. 

YOU: "Well it's no PBR or BUSCH Ice but for a drink that jumpstarts my day and delivers 43 body rocking whole greens and veggies, it tastes pretty damn good." 

WIFE: Did it come with a guarantee?

YOU: "Yes."

(From one man to another, we want to make sure you love your Morning Man Greens. So we're going to offer you a 60-Day MAN OF OUR WORD Guarantee.

Where, in a world where a man's word is bond, we will give you your money back if you want it back. That's our guarantee for 60 days.

If you try it out, hate the taste, don't feel anything, don't like the bag, hate the marketing, or just realize that money is tight and you made a mistake, email us at manly@morningman.org and we got you.

If we don't honor this, then we're breaking our word (which ain't happening). So rest assured that whatever reason you want a refund, we'll take good care of you. Just do us a favor, don't be a douche troll and buy a large quantity knowing that you're going to refund and take advantage of this guarantee. Karma is real and no one likes you.)

WIFE: Is this a men's only product? 

YOU: "It won't put hair on your chest, if that's what you're asking." 

(Morning Man Greens is good for everyone who wants to make each day their bitch. Just BEWARE: if you open that door, your wife will steal this from you. Although our proprietary blend contains good-for-you greens, it does contain 95 mg of caffeine so we recommend you DO NOT share this with children or anyone pregnant.)
Copyright © 2021 MorningMan.org. All Rights Reserved. 
manly@morningman.org

Disclamer

Information on this web site is provided for informational purposes only. The information is a result of years of practice experience by the author. This information is not intended as a substitute for the advice provided by your physician or other healthcare professional or any information contained on or in any product label or packaging. Do not use the information on this web site for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing medication or other treatment. Always speak with your physician or other healthcare professional before taking any medication or nutritional, herbal or homeopathic supplement, or using any treatment for a health problem. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, contact your health care provider promptly. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking professional advice because of something you have read on this web site. Information provided on this web site and the use of any products or services purchased from our web site by you DOES NOT create a doctor-patient relationship between you and any of the physicians affiliated with our web site. Information and statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.